trouble. This isn’t about insecurity, hate or revenge on a loving
partner. This isn’t about a loveless marriage or a person with a
screwed up moral compass.
each other’s world. Maybe you have what others are trying to find.
Maybe you know in a heartbeat it can change…
tried this past summer with going through fertility treatment only
for it to fail. Her husband Josh has taken a second job to support
them. The long hours are starting to put a strain on the relationship
and Jordan often finds herself alone. One day she meets Devon online.
He is charming, fun and is also a writer. Jordan knows that she likes
him but dismisses the thought at first…This is a romance.
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I wonder; how should I start this? I could just make up a bullshit tale of love and romance and being swept off their feet from the hands of their lover, but let’s face it that tale is told a thousand times over. Take what you will with this one, this could be a real story or very much just another made up one. I will let you decide in the end either way I will never confirm it; so here goes.
2014 was the year of change for me. I was making my dreams happen. I had two goals for the New Year, one to become a published author and two to become a mother. The first of my goals happened, right now as I write this I am an author, and the second is still a work in progress I am afraid to say. This was not the end of the story, it was only the beginning and I had no way of seeing this one coming or even preparing for it. Everything that I thought I knew and that I loved would soon come into question. I am not a bad person, but I believe after you read this some of you will hate me for what I did.
My name is Jordan Connor. I am thirty one years old and have been married for coming up on seven years to Josh. We have good careers, a nice house and two cars. To everyone we lead a normal happy life. We laugh together, play together, make love twice a week and really have no major worries to throw our world out of balance. Sure we fight, every couple does and it would be weird if we didn’t.
When I went into this marriage I knew that starting a family would be difficult. Josh has had a bad hand dealt to him in terms of health and to make a long story short, he will never father a child. At the time being a twenty four year old that was completely in love with her husband to be I had no problem with it. I wanted to enjoy my twenties and focus on myself, my friends, this marriage and concentrate on getting myself established into a great career before even contemplating bringing a child into the mix. So the plan was at thirty, I would seek medical help in order get pregnant.
Thirty came and went and I never so much as tried. Why you may ask. Back in 2013, Josh had lost his job and we ran out of money. We needed to wait, so in the time being I did the things that made me happy. I spent time with my mom and dad, spent the weekends at camp with the extended family and did a lot of reading at the beach.
Back then I had been thinking about it, writing a story, why not. I had nothing to lose, I could write a better story than this peace of garbage that I am reading now, and so my first attempt at writing began and this new found hobby started a chain of events.
book in the International Boundaries Series which follows Jordan, a
woman who is on a journey in making her dreams become a reality.
Gains in her writing career and personal life are falling into place
though not in the traditional manner, she has taken the bull by the
horns, and this game of lies that she is playing, will it catch up to
her? Can she continue down this path, the rewards are good but at
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Here we are you the reader and I the storyteller. Since you are reading this, my assumption is that you can see where I am coming from or that this story is like looking at a train wreck where you cannot turn away.
Well I promise you this that I have succeeded in gaining everything I wanted with keeping two lovers. One is a secret from the other. Devon gave me a fair chance in getting me pregnant without compromising our lives. I am over the morning sickness faze and I am no longer as tired as I found myself in the beginning. I plan to tell the family soon since I am now passed that delicate stage and I couldn’t be happier.
I always knew that Josh was in my corner rooting for me. I admit that he struggled with the fact that he couldn’t contribute in the way that a husband should to this pregnancy. It took some time and he was always there by my side attending the doctor appointments until finally it worked. He doesn’t know that I went to another for help. He has no knowledge of Devon, nobody does and I plan to keep it that way.
You already know my thoughts on the matter. You are probably wondering what has gone on in the last three months, let me fill you in.
Josh and I are doing great. Our relationship is on good solid ground. It took some work but I am happy to say that we are now enjoying our time that we have together. Josh is still working lots of overtime but in the time that we do have we make the effort not to fight and work on making the effort to do things together. We put our phones down and pay attention to one another. We play video games, watch movies, cook and clean. I have to admit that the sex has become amazing. We try different things, new positions and he has even started going down on me. It had been something that he had stopped doing for years. I love Josh and I know in my heart that he has fallen in love with me all over again.
In terms of my career, work is work, what can I say. The department that I work for is currently downsizing its staff, which means they have cut back on the temporary staff. I don’t need to worry as my job is secure. I am permanent but with the reduction in staff, the workload has increased significantly. Everyone that I work with is feeling the extra burden and office life has been a challenge. Colleagues, including myself have been unhappy and it is hard to stay positive when being dumped on with crap in every direction. I know that I need to keep my chin up for the months that I have left before I go on maturity leave and I hope when after I return from the leave the atmosphere will be better. I have learned not to dwell on the negative and instead hope for the positive, which is easier said than done.
I still haven’t caught that break on my published book. It is getting steady viewings, downloads and purchases but I haven’t seen that upswing when a book takes off and launches an author into stardom. I am still hopeful that my time will come because I am steadily receiving good reviews from complete strangers, which always does bring a smile to my face when I read them. I believe that things come in time and I trust that good things will come.
Devon, my secret is back at his home in Texas doing great. He is one funny guy I tell yah. He wanted to know if I did get pregnant and you already know that I told him. Even though he is just a friend, he couldn’t be more thrilled and he is confident that it was his own that made it work. It’s nice to know that I have him in my corner and I am happy to have shared time with such an awesome man. I feel the same with it being his but I won’t know for sure until I see the baby because of that small chance that the donor sperm worked.
We are still the best of friends and talk pretty well every day and today is no different every time I have something that I am itching to share Devon is the first to know and today is no different.
the arrival of a sweet baby girl. She realizes that goals are not
everything and that gaining one thing causes other things that were
good in her life to suffer. The man that at one time would do
anything to make her happy now questions their relationship. Her
close friend Devon is going through tough times and Jordan is to
blame. The attention that her writing career has gained for her
attracts unwanted media attention that looms over her, her family and
friends. Everything is unraveling…
Just before Christmas is when it all happened. I don’t want to get into the details of it all. It went well, Josh had taken some time off of work around my due date and it paid off. We went to the hospital together in the early hours of the morning before the morning traffic and just before lunch was when my baby girl came into this world.
She was seven and a half pounds of screaming pink little baby. Hearing her cry was music to my ears. She was healthy and strong and catching a glimpse of her before the nurse took her away, I could see that she had a full head of dark brown hair.
The nurses cleaned her up and handed her over to me after the doctor’s had taken care of me and I took no hesitation, my instincts kicked in and I wasn’t in the least bit worried about dropping her of anything like that. I get like that when holding other babies.
I look up at Josh who is next to me and white as a ghost. He will never admit that he was scared, nervous or worried about this entire ordeal. I look up at him as I hold her and the generally joking, confidant guy that Josh typically is, he is as quiet as can be as he looks down at the two of us.
She is no longer screaming any more. I am guessing that when she came out she didn’t find the fresh cool air of the room too appealing. I smile at the thought, she is her mother’s daughter and I don’t blame her, I hate the cold too. As soon as the nurses wrapped her up was when she settled down.
I have her facing Josh and she opens those newborn eyes of hers and looks up at him. I glance up at Josh for a second to see that he is still missing that color in his cheeks. Her eyes are blue. I smile down at her, I wonder, she is only moments old but it is like she is already trying to familiarize herself with us and for all those months that she could hear us while in my belly, she has this look on her face. Maybe I am imagining it but it’s like she is thinking oh, so that’s what you guys look like. I know it’s just my imagination but that is the feeling I get with her.
Josh soon relaxes and the color comes back to him and I catch him smiling back at her as she watches him. I ask, “Do you want to hold her?”
Boundaries Series is her first collection of romance novels.
“Something Desired” will be the third book to the series. She’s
kind of nerdy but that’s okay cause she owns it and admits that she
loves reading, writing and watching a good story. She also writes in
sci-fi. Other hobbies are painting, gardening and exploring a new
hiking trail. She lives with her ruggedly handsome husband and cute
Maltese fur baby in Ottawa, Canada which is a really cold place. (she
should move somewhere warmer)
Follow the tour HERE!